A Feminist Critique

Official Navy recruiting poster

I'm a recovering feminist. I used to subscribe to "Ms." magazine. I used to have a t-shirt emblazoned with the motto, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle," and I actually believed it. I was going to have a career in the Navy and if I ever did get married (which I probably wouldn't) or have kids (which I probably wouldn't) I would have someone else do all the mindless domestic chores, the "woman's work," which the feminist movement told me was so demeaning to me. If I played my cards right, perhaps I could marry a docile man who would support my career and stay home to take care of the children that I probably wouldn't have.

Some who know me peripherally might think I'm still a feminist. Although I left the naval service a long time ago to become a stay-at-home mom, I recently earned my black belt in taekwondo. I'm an expert pistol shot (or used to be). I can hammer a nail straight. Yesterday I fixed a toilet.

I believe in the equal value of women in the workplace, government, and society; just laws that give equal protection to women; and instilling in our daughters the motivation and desire to succeed academically and professionally. I believe women are just as smart as men and are capable of handling stressful and difficult situations just as well as men.

Me as a plebe (first year midshipman), c. 1981

But don't call me a feminist. Feminists are angry with men and believe the root of all evil in the world is caused by men. Feminists preach that women must be free from their biology and be like men in order to be valuable members of society. Feminists are so obsessed with being like men that they have euphemisms like "reproductive rights," which actually mean the opposite of what the words mean. They don't want the right to reproduce; they want the right to avoid reproduction. They assist men in being irresponsible for their behavior by giving them an easy way to avoid paternity.

The growing problem of pornography in our culture proves that women are still exploited and are more vulnerable to sexual exploitation than men. In feminism's refusal to acknowledge the differences between men and women, they have contributed to this problem.

Men are no longer expected to be the primary breadwinner in a family, since women are just as capable of bringing home a good salary as men. In fact, men have become the disposable part of a family today as many more women are choosing single motherhood to fulfill their need to become mothers without the burden of finding a suitable mate. (In some cases, there just aren't marriageable men around. As the ratio of women to men on college campuses nationwide nears the 60 to 40% ratio, fewer men are choosing higher education and are instead choosing to live in their parents' basements playing computer games.)

No wonder so many men are jumping on the feminism bandwagon.

My evolution from feminine mystique to feminist critique came to completion with Motherhood. I was determined to bring up my boys without gunplay or violence. Despite my navy experience as a 45-caliber pistol instructor, I didn't own a gun and didn't want them in my house...even play guns. Yet my little boys made guns out of everything. Sticks, Legos, toothbrushes. You name it, they shot, fired and exploded it.

It wasn't just the gunplay that confounded me. I began to notice they'd go into zombie mode whenever flickering images were near. They would throw hysterical tantrums when I'd shut off the television. They've outgrown the TV tantrum, but they're still prone to computer gaming addiction. This has never been a problem with the girls. They might spend hours on the computer, but it's because they're on Facebook chatting with friends, not playing computer games. Though not the stereotypical girly-girl frills and laces types, the girls are more relationship oriented than the boys. Friendships are critical to their well-being. They're more sensitive to the feelings of others. I didn't do anything nurture-wise to make my boys and girls behave differently. They're just wired that way. (Dare I say, God made them that way?) Scientific studies confirm what all mothers and teachers intuitively know: boys and girls are wired differently.

The Wall Street Journal published an article on May 4, 2011, which said the tears of men and women are profoundly different. A study on crying was conducted by Ad Vingerhoets, a professor of clinical psychology who focuses on stress and emotion at Tilburg University in the Netherlands.

It turns out women are biologically wired to shed more tears than men. Men have larger tear ducts, which means women's tear ducts fill up and spill over more quickly than men's. Testosterone can also help put the brakes on crying, which may be the reason older men tend to cry more often than younger men. Tears are full of hormones and proteins. One of the hormones in tears is prolactin, which is a lactation catalyst. Young women have 50% - 60% more prolactin in their bloodstream than young men do, which could also explain why women cry more often than men. In other words, it's not all social conditioning.

Dr. Vingerhoets conducted a project in 37 countries to compare the different rates of crying among men and women. Women in developed Western economies cry much more than men, and much more than women in societies where women have fewer rights, he says.

As to why women in developed countries cry more often than women who have fewer rights, my theory is that women who are infused with modern notions of feminism are so conflicted with competing roles of breadwinner, nurturer, and swimsuit model thinness that they cry more often. After all, modern feminism's mantra has always been that women can "have it all." Having it all has come with a price tag, which is the loss of true femininity, which values women for their femaleness, not for how much they can be like males.

During the five years I served as a naval officer I got married and had three children. I no longer wanted to be a career woman because I felt I wouldn't serve my kids well if I was serving my country. I wanted to give myself totally to my vocation as a mother. When I resigned my commission as a naval officer, I had to write a letter explaining my reasons. I remember writing something about having to make a choice between being a good naval officer or being a good mom. I knew there were lots of people who could fill my shoes as a naval officer but I was the only one who could be a mother to my children. It was an easy decision for me and one I've never regretted. We've since added seven more kids to our family and I've had the privilege of homeschooling them all. I never could have done that if I'd stayed in the navy. I'm thankful for the generosity and support of my dear husband whose tireless devotion to his family enables me to stay home and take care of the kids. In some ways, I feel like I really do have it all.

embracing true feminism

Homeschooling through High School--Community College

There's been a lot of discussion among our local homeschool group about sending high school kids to community college. At first glance, it sounds like a great idea. The local school districts will fund homeschooler's tuition at one of our many local community colleges. All they ask is that the kid pass the course, which for most homeschoolers is probably pretty darned easy. (At least that's what I've been told from kids who've been there). Plus, it sounds uber cool to say, "My kid goes to college," when they're only 16. Doogie Howser meets Dougie the Homeschooler. Somehow it's supposed to legitimize homeschooling through high school. Which, by the way, is a pretty daunting task and you'll certainly encounter more than a few raised eyebrows if you dare to tell people (or your mother) that you plan on homeschooling little Dougie past elementary school. But, if you can tell Grandma that Dougie is enrolled at Local Area Community College and he'll actually earn *gasp* COLLEGE CREDITS!! she can proudly tell all her Bunco friends that Dougie is going to college and they can "ooh" and "aah" to Grandma's delight.

But...(you knew there was a BUT coming, didn't you?) how do you know that Dougie will actually learn something meaningful at Local Area Community College? (I'll just call it "LACC" for short). Being a thoughtful homeschooler, you actually like to know what your kid is learning and you understand that institutionalized education doesn't always teach your kids the things you want them to learn, least of all the things that you know they really need to know like how to get ten loads of laundry done, the bathrooms cleaned, the dog vomit scrubbed out of the carpet, the Legos picked up from the living room floor, the grocery shopping done, the kids' scrubbed and dinner made all in time for Fr. Smith to come for dinner.

Maybe that's not really what you think your kids need to know in order to be responsible adults. Maybe you want them to actually know some History or some English Literature or some Calculus or some Spanish. Maybe you've checked into LACC's History department and you know that Dougie will get some excellent instruction in U.S. Constitutional History. Or maybe the English department has an excellent reputation for classical literature. If that's the case, then LACC may be a great way for Dougie to further his education. Unfortunately that's often not the case. Most high school students, for some blithering reason, tend to take courses like: Psychology, Sociology or History of Oppressed Minorities Like Gays and Women.

But Mrs. Jones sends her kids to LACC and she tells you how great it is because they're going to save TONS of money on college since the state (I mean taxpayers) are picking up the tab for her kids' first two years of college. What Mrs. Jones failed to tell you (probably because she doesn't know it yet herself) is that unless the kid has an unusually highly developed sense of responsible planning, he will most likely take some classes at LACC that are completely useless for his future major (which he'll probably change a half dozen times anyway). Or that should her kid actually want to go to a college out of state, the chances of all those LACC credits being accepted are pretty small.

And believe it or not, there can actually be a problem with skipping your freshman year at a four-year college. If you or Dougie are interested in getting the full "college experience," then freshman year is a vital part of that. Two of our four kids who've graduated high school thus far have gone on to Catholic colleges with a visible Catholic identity on campus. There's nothing wrong with skipping that first awkward year of college, but it's not necessarily a good thing either.

We've purposely avoided sending our kids to community college during high school. Why? My first thought is that the large number of high school-aged kids going to community colleges has really dumbed down both the community college and high school. Homeschooling through high school entails branching out from the kitchen table to acquire more real-world experiences. But that doesn't mean shuttling kids off to a community college during some of their most formative young adult years. Some of the parents who send their kids to a community college wouldn't dream of sending the same kid to their local public high school.

If its college credits you're after, look into having your son or daughter take a CLEP test after finishing up a course at home. The CLEP tests are far cheaper than a community college course, at $77 per test. Plus, since they're standardized by the College Board, they're probably accepted at more four-year colleges than the credits from LACC would be. And, Dougie can start taking them as young as he wants. Just find a CLEP testing location and sign up.

Finally, keep in mind that not all colleges will accept community college credits or CLEP exams. For example, the top choices of my two high school kids right now are Wyoming Catholic College and Thomas Aquinas College. Both are Great Books schools whose students study the same courses each year. Everyone has the same major (liberal arts), so getting college credits in high school is a moot point for them. They need to develop strong foundations in the liberal arts through broad reading and learn good study skills to help them in college.

There's no one-size-fits-all description of the perfect homeschool high school program. Some kids may benefit from a rigorous community college preparation or using community college to gain some vocational skills. But I suspect most high schoolers would benefit more from having a rigorous high school program combined with real-world experiences and practical applications. (More to come).

Baby it's cold outside. Let's make snow!

What do you do when the schools are closed because it's too cold for the buses to run and too cold for kids to wait outside? Okay, besides homeschooling? Make snow!

I heard about this experiment from the dental hygienist who cleaned my teeth yesterday, so I decided to give it a try. When I posted my findings on Facebook, several friends told me they tried it too, but only got steam. So here's my unretouched video "proof" that you can make snow from boiling water. We planned on catching the snow in the black cloth (my old midshipman neckerchief) but the wind catches it and it rises until it dissipates. Notice the lovely way the children interact with each other (yet more proof that homeschooled kids are "normal") and the cold-proofing we did of the downstairs bathroom vent to try to prevent freezing pipes of last winter. (Which, by the way, worked!)

By the way, the temperature was hovering around 0 degrees F, which, for my metric friends is -18 degrees C!

Another friend told me to try blowing soap bubbles. They were supposed to shatter like glass bubbles when they hit the ground. It wasn't quite so dramatic as that. They appeared more like plastic bubbles when they froze and they usually popped before they hit the ground. But some of them we could see were beginning to grow leafy ice patterns on them as they danced about in the air. We tried to make a video of them, but you can't quite see the beautiful frosty patterns. As you can see, if you don't blow the soap bubbles out fast enough, the soap will freeze right on your soap wand.

Notice the wonderful soap wands we used: an old toilet paper tube--it worked best once it was fully saturated in soap solution; the plastic frame from a grocery card; and a plastic part from a K'nex set! (The toilet paper tube worked the best). We made homemade soap bubbles with about 3/4 cup of water and a huge squirt of Ivory liquid.

Top 100 Twitter feeds for Homeschoolers

Check it out: My Twitter feed, which is linked to this blog, has been listed in the Top 100 Twitter Feeds for Homeschoolers!  

A big thank you to OnlineDegrees.net for the mention.

Still Learning How to Homeschool

I've been wrestling with thoughts of making big changes in our homeschooling for the next school year. No, we weren't thinking of sending our kids to school. In fact, we were thinking of eliminating some outside classes they've been taking for the past seven years. (Like I said, big changes!) My husband and I discuss whether or not we need to make changes nearly every year. As homeschooling parents, we are all too aware of our own deficiencies and those of our children. We know who needs to work on their grammar or penmanship or reading. But this year I felt more unease than usual and felt a stronger than usual desire to make radical changes to the way we've grown accustomed. That is, I wanted to bring my kids home and just do school without any outside distractions.

That's great when you have little kids or very docile children. Mine are neither little nor docile. The female teenagers, in particular, weren't at all happy with that solution.

I investigated starting a co-op, since there aren't any Catholic co-ops for high school kids in our area. But I'm not sure if I have the energy to start the type of co-op I'd like to join, while still homeschooling six kids, ages 8 to 16!

I needed to sit down with my husband and write out our educational philosophy and goals. In reality, I'd been keeping him up late at night for the past few weeks talking about it. For me, writing it out helps clarify my thinking. Plus, I like to be able to look at what I've written and refer to it later.

Here's what we came up with. This is the order with which we came up with the ideas and not necessarily in the order of importance:

--more challenging and broader studies (particularly for our teenagers);
--more classical education;
--challenge them without nagging or punitive grading (grades should be a way to test if the student has mastered the material, not punish them);
--give glory and honor to God using the talents He gave us and learning to use those talents;
--strive for mastery of material (see the note about punitive grading);
--don't waste time doing busy work;
--expand learning opportunities
--more experiential learning, i.e. gardening, camping, hiking, nature study, cooking with Mom, field trips, etc.
(this is more for the three youngest boys at home, but should also include the older kids from time to time);
--prepare for college-level work, (goes with the challenging and broader studies idea);
--more memorization, especially poetry, but also important names, dates, Latin roots, states and capitals, etc.
--grammar and handwriting (weaknesses of particular kids).

As you can see, these aren't anything profound, but they are especially meaningful for us because of some of the issues we've had to deal with this year. Also, these goals could be achieved at a brick-and-mortar school or at home, but for us, the best environment is home. In fact, two of the issues we have dealt with this year (punitive grading and busy work) are from classes taken outside the home. Our kids don't want to give up that time with friends and learning from another teacher, so we are going to try to arrange their outside classes so that they minimize the wasted time and maximize the learning. We also want to balance the amount of outside homework they have with the learning that we want to take place at home.

We included the teen girls in our discussion, since teen boy was off reading his Aeneid homework and the teen girls always like to be included. Once they understood we didn't want to take them away from their friends and put them in a convent (do all teen girls worry about this, or is it just Catholic homeschooled girls?) they were much more relaxed and willing to listen to what we had to say.

I'm particularly excited about one idea we brainstormed together (after teen boy sat down with us). We are going to have the two girls and boy study the same literature and history next year. On tap: Shakespeare, Canterbury Tales, Song of Roland and other Medievel European writings. We'll also have the three of them do the same era for history, in order to maximize our learning time at home. I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before. One of the great things about homeschooling is the flexibility it affords and kids of different ages can study the same things, but at different levels. High school (and junior high) kids have very similar reading abilities, so having them study the same thing for history and literature is no big deal. In fact, now it seems like a big DUH!

It just occurred to me that the 2010-2011 school year will mark our twentieth year of homeschooling! Yep, I must be a slow learner, if it's taken this long for me to figure out something so basic. Maybe by the time my youngest graduates (in 2021), I'll actually know a thing or two.

Caution: Reading this blog may put you at odds with the Feds

Today is Tax Day. A day rued by many hardworking patriotic Americans. Peaceful protests have been planned in major cities throughout the US and those on the left are steamed. Code Pink and others are planning some tea party "crashes," and left-leaners have blamed Fox News for organizing these gatherings of "right-wing radicals."

Unfortunately, the Obama administration has linked the terms "patriotic" with those who feel it is their duty as "patriotic citizens" to pay more taxes. The Obama administration is already using our patriotic tax dollars to fund more abortions overseas, in addition to forcing doctors and nurses in our own country to participate in these procedures against their consciences. As Planned Parenthood says, the United States is going in a "new direction," and Planned Parenthood is poised to play a "unique role" in shaping the administrations "health agenda."

If that wasn't enough to give us indigestion, someone in the Department of Homeland Security (probably one of those "right-wing nut-jobs" leaked an official document earlier this week, which warns police and security personnel to keep a vigilant watch on "...those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, [and]...individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration." Michelle Malkin has a great synopsis on her blog.

It's enough to make you want to dress up like an Indian and dump a load of something into Boston Harbor!

I'll be there in spirit (and truth), if not in person, as I have mommy driving duties to fulfill that prevent me from actually driving my 15 passenger van downtown, to pay $10 to park, then herd my darling children to the steps of the capitol for the second time this month. (We already made our appearance with roughly 2,000 other homeschoolers at the capitol on April 3rd, for Homeschool Day at the Capitol...

If you want to find us in the crowd below, I'm in the bright green shirt, with a knapsack, leaning to my left to talk to my daughter in the bright red shirt, right of the statue, near the front of the crowd. Thanks to J. Will for taking this great pic and posting it on the web!)

Okay, so maybe you can't see me, but I really was there!

Navy mom of five leaves for Iraq today

My friend and fellow Catholic homeschooling mom, Eileen, is headed to Iraq today. Eileen is married and mother of five young children. She's in the Naval Reserves and received training from the Army before she left. You can see my previous posting about her here.

She knew this was coming down, she said. But it was still upsetting to everyone when the date was finally announced. Nevertheless, her family and friends have risen to support her and her husband and parents will continue to homeschool the children while she's away, so mom can worry less about the kids and the kids can continue life as close to normal as possible.

I asked Eileen if I could post some of her own words about the Army training she's been receiving over the past month, in preparation for her departure. Here are some excerpts:

My first week I was in Port Hueneme, CA which is right next to Oxnard. It was not incredibly busy – mostly in-processing and medical and dental and a bunch of briefs. There were interesting moments like when I got fitted for my gas mask and chem suit and got to make sure they had a good seal by doing these weird breathing and moving exercises while inside a plastic bag. There were a bunch of really nice people that I met there who all came to Ft Jackson with me, so that is nice.

Then on Saturday we all flew to South Carolina by way of Chicago during a blizzard – love that Navy planning! Eventually we did arrive here and started to get settled. A buddy from the Naval Academy is here too, so that is great. I didn’t end up getting uniforms until Tuesday – TOTALLY annoying – so I spent the first day carrying around my weapons while wearing sweats. A very hot look, let me tell you. As you can see from my photo I have been issued both a 9mm (in the thigh holster) and an M-16. Both are “go to war weapons” for me so I actually will be taking them forward and I have to qualify on both. On Tuesday I also got issued my “Battle Rattle” which is about 65 pounds of body armor, a Kevlar helmet and knee and elbow pads. VERY comfortable. We are spending lots of quality time wearing them and loving every second of it. (In case you could not tell, that is sarcasm.) My shoulders are KILLING me and I am wiped out by the end of the day.

We have been doing a lot of shooting and that has been a blast. Literally. I realized that I had actually NEVER fired an M-16 before (at the Academy we had used M-14s to qualify with rifles). It is all going really well. I grouped and zeroed in 12 rounds which is the minimum (I realize that means nothing to most of you, but my military friends will be psyched). The 9MM is going even better if possible. I got scores of 238, 238 and 239 out of 240 on the regular range. (The 239 was actually kind of cool, because the one shot that wasn't in the 5 point area was a head shot that would have been right between the eyes. Not bad for a "miss." Kind of worth only getting 4 points for it!)

At the “stress range” where we had to run between shooting positions and lay on the ground in puddles or kneel or stand while out in the pouring rain. Plus a drill sergeant is yelling numbers in your ear to tell you which targets to shoot at in which order. I got 15, 18 and 18 on each of the 3 targets out of a possible of 18 on each one. Good to know that if necessary I can put rounds on target. I still have the low-light shooting on the 9MM and a bunch of M-16 stuff to go, but I am feeling pretty good about it. The 9MM shooting has all been in battle armor and I just can’t tell you how much fun it is to run around in that stuff, lay on the ground and try to get up and not to turtle while trying to reload. Good times. Then at the end we got to police all the brass out of the puddles. In the driving rain. While wearing 65 pounds of body armor. Really. As my friend Dean said, good to know that we made the right service selection when we chose the Navy over the Army.

But really, all in all it has been a lot of fun. We spent part of one day in the HEAT trainer which was almost like an amusement park ride. It is a pretend HMMV which rolls over and you get to unbuckle your seatbelt, land on your head, figure out how to open the door and then scramble out to take a “defensive position” surrounding it. Kind of like the helo dunk tank but not in the water while blindfolded. I thought it was pretty fun and REALLY a smart thing. I hope to never have to actually use the knowledge, but it was great to know the right way to do it. Then we got to drive around in regular HMMVs splashing around in puddles. That was really fun though I can’t see ever wanting to own a HUMMER – not exactly a cushy ride. They let us sit in every position so I got to drive and also ride in the turret.

I think that I am having more fun than most folks here. Probably my Pollyanna nature. It could be MUCH, MUCH worse. The drill sergeants are pretty great. They have all actually been deployed to the places we are going and they really know what they are doing. They know we have all already done some version of the boot camp thing so they’re not messing with us, just trying to get us ready for combat. All in all, it is not bad. I keep telling everyone that lots of rich businessmen pay good money to do these sorts of things. True they are probably not policing their own brass and at the end of the day they are most likely getting a rubdown from a Swedish masseuse, but still…

Hope this finds all of you well. Sorry I am not keeping in better touch, but by the end of the day I am truly wiped out and happy to have a hot shower and crash. I’ll update when I can, but know that I am thinking of all of you and am grateful for your thoughts and prayers. They are keeping me strong.

Much love,
Eileen

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Email of March 19, 2009:
Hi everyone!

Sorry that I haven't written in a while. My time at Ft Jackson came to a quick end and then I headed to Ft Bragg for a day and I got home on Friday night and haven't really taken a breath since. Let me fill you in on the end of my training. I have to say it went well. Perhaps my expectations were SOOO low that anything would have been better, but I know that the point of it all was to give us the skills that we might (but hopefully won't) need to survive combat situations and come home to our families. With that end-goal in mind, how bad could it be?

The shooting just kept getting better and better. I ended up qualifying as a Sharpshooter on Rifle and an Expert on Pistol. I would have gotten expert on rifle but when the first target came up (50m, left) I had neglected to take the weapon off of safe. Once I had remedied that situation with a few choice words the target had dropped already. And that was the difference... Oh well, perhaps another time. I would love to be able to shoot it without the body armor on. Not only do I look like a Teenage Mutant Turtle (my husband's description) but the back of the vest shoves into the Kevlar helmet forcing it over my eyes. It took a lot of adjusting plus a washcloth shoved into the top to get it wear I can see while in the prone (lying down) position. One of our drill sergeants, SGT Jenkins said, "You know, ma'am, if the Navy were smart, they'd send you to sniper school. You've got a gift, ma'am." (This was said in a crazy strong Southern accent - I believe it is a requirement to be a drill sgt - and was intended to be high praise indeed.

Frankly I could see the appeal - much better to shoot someone from 1000m while perched safely on a rooftop then at 20m with my 9mm. But I digress...) They all called me "Killer Mom" and found it very amusing that in my real life I am a homeschooling mother of 5. To be fair I find it somewhat amusing also.

One of the days we also got to shoot on the Heavy Weapons Range - an M249 SAW, an M240 and a 50cal. Very very very fun. Plus, in addition to all the regular shooting at the range we did a reflexive fire course with the M16 where you pivot left 90 degrees, right 90 degrees or 180 degrees before engaging the target. Very fun.

And we also did the stress shoot for the M16. In my last email I described our M9 stress shoot which involved running around shooting at targets while in different positions in the pouring rain and wearing our body armor. This was similar but different. We were in body armor again only it was a hot sunny day so that was different. They had us sit in a HMMWV, and then jump out, run to the range, load a magazine, run to 3 different positions and then shoot at targets while in different positions (standing, squatting, kneeling and prone). And they were yelling at us the whole time. The idea was to try to simulate some of the stress of combat. It was pretty fun and you would be surprised how fast one can move while wearing all that weight. It was so much fun that my buddy Geoff actually got in line and did it a second time. That night we did the low-light shoot with the M9. Once it got to be dusk we ran back through a target shoot with the 9mm to see how that was. Again, pretty fun.

And then the last few days went even faster. We did preparations for our convoy operations, learning about IEDs and EFPs and things of that nature. Reviewed our combat first aid training. Tuesday got a lot crammed into it because the big rotator (usually scheduled for Thursday night which takes most of our crew to Kuwait) got rescheduled for Wednesday so everything got moved around. We practiced room clearing, learned about checkpoints and played with big vehicles. Plus we did a pretend convoy which of course had every possible bad thing happen to it. Good times. I got to be a vehicle commander. I had hoped to be a gunner, but so it goes. Manning the radio and bossing people around is not actually unlike my normal life. The last day was all about weapons turn in and cleaning rooms and writing after action reports.

It is great to be here spending time with the family. It is all going much too fast. Hard to believe that I have less than two weeks now until I leave for a long time. Still, with as fast as all of that passed and as fast as this time is passing I know that the year will fly by. I really don't know how much I'll be able to write once I leave Denver. I'll do the best that I can, but in the interim know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for any and all replies that you have sent. I'm sorry that it is hard to find the time to respond but they always make me smile and are much appreciated. Write as much and as often as you want. If I don't write back it is because I am CRAZY busy - not because I don't care.

Lots of love to you all,
Eileen

Twitter is stealing my life!

The best way to learn a new skill is to jump in with both feet and just give it a try! Or so I thought with some of the new technology that keeps flirting with my time.

Not too very long ago I signed up with Twitter. Not a big deal, the sign up takes just a couple of minutes. I had one friend already on Twitter. From blogs I found a few more friends.

Then I discovered Tweet Catholic. From that list I found some really cool Catholics that I started following. One such guy, is Paul Camarata, his bio states, "A family man, neurosurgeon, and Catholic podcaster." He sounded way too cool, so I decided to follow him. He runs an amazing website, The Saint Cast, which has podcasts about the saints and a really awesome youtube video called "The Saint Song."


Once I started adding a bunch of folks from that list, many of them started following me! The busy rambling of everyone's Tweets looked incomprehensible at first. Then I began to see that some of them were responding to other's Tweets, signified by the @ at the beginning of the Tweet.

Not sure if anyone is actually reading your Tweets? I found out if you ask a question, you can often get an answer, to which the polite Tweeter responds with a "Thank you!"

Still, there are confusing combinations of letters and symbols, and I noticed the hash symbol, #, appearing quite frequently before the letters "tcot." What could that mean? Some secret language? I Tweeted and asked the question and was told it means "top conservatives on Twitter." They also have their own list, which I scanned for people I'd either heard of or people who sounded interesting. I preferred to find people with whom I had something in common, so I looked for those who listed "Catholic," "homeschooler," "stay at home mom," "humor," "veteran." I found some really interesting people there too!

I tried to resist the urge to follow tons of celebrities that I really had nothing in common with, though I did break down and follow Tony Hawk. Don't ask me why. I don't skateboard and none of my kids do either. I've never played any of his video games or worn any of his clothes. (Does he design clothes?) But when I read his bio: "...professional skateboarder, dad, videogame character, husband, ceo, kid chauffeur," I thought he sounded like a fun guy to follow. I especially liked the part about being a dad and kid chauffeur. Likewise, I followed the two creators of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, and Biz Stone, because I figured they could give me some hint of how this Twitter thing is really supposed to work. It still feels like speaking a foreign language to me.

From the tcot list, I found some interesting conservative celebrities, like Gov. Mike Huckabee, Dick Armey, Newt Gingrich, and Karl Rove. I felt a rush of adrenaline when Karl Rove started following MY updates. Heady stuff, this Twitter. I must've gotten a bit carried away with all the celebrity following, or perhaps I just thought it was a Pepsi logo, but I clicked on "Follow" Barack Obama. A couple hours later, I had second thoughts and decided to "unfollow" him, but only after BO had started following me! Hmmm...maybe he'll learn something from my pithy political commentary. (Dream on...)

I gotta go now...Pope Benedict is following me and he just asked what #tcot means.

You can follow my twitterings at http://twitter.com/militantmom.

Military Mommy of Five Goes to Iraq

A friend of mine, a Naval Academy grad and Catholic homeschooling mom of five young children, is going to Iraq for a year.

"But can't they send someone else?" another friend said to me.

Yes, I'm sure they can. But we must not forget that duty, honor, country and making oaths, really matter. My friend has not forgotten. She serves her country because it is her duty and it is the honorable thing to do.

When someone is enlisted or commissioned into the armed forces they take an oath. Ours went something like this:

I, [name], do solemnly swear, that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

I know my friend is scared and she wants nothing more than to finish her time in Iraq as quickly as possible and to get home safe and sound to her family. She doesn't want to go to war any more than any of us do. But she knows that she has made a promise to God and her country to serve faithfully.

She's a reservist, which means she is used to being home with her kids, except for that one weekend a month and two weeks a year that she wears a uniform and serves her country. She will be activated in a few months and will then be carrying out her duties 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for approximately one calendar year.

She will be going in harms' way to help protect our country and our way of life, but also, to help our global neighbors live a better life and experience freedom and justice in a way that they hadn't previously been able to experience. She goes to help prevent another terrorist attack like the one on September 11, 2001 that claimed nearly three thousand lives.

She risks her own freedom, happiness, and security, and that of her family, in order to carry out her duty. She risks leaving her youngest child, not yet 2 years old, that he might not recognize her when she returns.

Her husband and parents will be carrying on without her and trying to keep a normal routine while mom's away. They'll be homeschooling her kids and taking them to Mass and to family reunions and birthday parties and soccer games and piano recitals. And they'll be counting the days until Mom returns.

Please remember Eileen and her family in your prayers.

On being a female veteran

The following is from a National Review Online article from yesterday (Veteran's Day):

"For most, military service is a short period, a few years. But they may be dramatic and formative years, very significant for the life to follow. Some may look back on those as their best years. Others may not want to remember them. Most return from war unscathed if not unchanged, others with varying degrees of wounds, some physical, some emotional, or both.

The experience may shape and define one’s future, or not. But as a veteran you can be guaranteed a spot in the hallowed ground of Arlington or another of the national cemeteries. You can salute the flag (rather than placing your hand over your heart), whether in uniform or not. More importantly you will have the satisfaction of having done something exceptional, something you share with over 23 million Americans. (Only 7.2 percent of American men are veterans, and if you are a female vet, you are in a more exclusive club of 1.8 million, or six tenths of a percent of the US population.) And you will enjoy the admiration of a country that recognizes your sacrifices and is grateful."

What surprised me was the low percentage of the population who are veterans. I suppose this is due to the fact that we have had relatively little armed conflict since Vietnam. Despite the fact that we've been fighting a war in Iraq for over 5 years, we still have a very small minority of the population who has served in uniform.

Perhaps most surprising to me was the fact that only 0.6% of the population are female vets! I don't think of myself as such a small minority since I know quite a few female vets and am part of a Yahoo email group of female Naval Academy grads (an even smaller group) that has 626 members.

Being a mom in the military was tough. I had two babies (ages 1 and newborn) that I had to get ready for daycare and drop off at two different locations for about 6 months. Later, my neighbor across the street on Bolling Air Force Base, was able to watch both my kids for me. This made my life tremendously easier for me during my last year or so of active service. I was so indebted to her that I named my next baby after her and asked her to be that child's godmother!

I often wonder why I didn't just stay in, or stay a drilling reservist. I know several military moms who did just that. They can proudly say they served their country for 20-some odd years in uniform while juggling the stresses of military service, marriage and kids. They are just some of my mom-heroes.

I wasn't called to that level of sacrifice. I chose to instead give myself completely to having a whole passel of kids and homeschooling them, while moving with my husband's job to 5 different locations after I got out of the Navy.

Young Writer's Program

Attention: Home Educators! Have your students enroll now in the Young Writers Program of National Novel Writing Month.

It's free...and students can create their own word counts. My kids are giving it a go this year. And we downloaded some really creative workbooks from the website, put them on a CD and took it to Kinkos, where they printed them out with a spiral biding and laminated covers. Cost about $15 each (or what you'd pay for a nice workbook). My kids are fighting over the workbooks, so I might have to go and print up some more.

Home Educators don't forget to sign up on the YW site as an Educator and have access to the Teacher's Lounge!

Remember: National Novel Writing Month begins November 1st.

Some things my grandchildren might like to know about me

Things I wanted to be when I grew up:

1. a penguin (I was only 4 or 5 at the time).

2. a Hawaiian (but my mom told me you actually had to be born one, which I found grossly unfair and totally against the attitude of the '70's which said women could be anything they wanted to be...I was about 6 or 7)

3. a nurse

4. a teacher

5. a U.S. Naval Officer

6. an astronaut

7. a writer

Things I have done:

1. I wore combat boots--on several occasions--most notably for a week during the summer of 1984, when, as a second-class midshipman, we had our U.S. Marine Corps indoctrination introduction. I also got to fire an M-16, a grenade launcher, and a machine gun; sit in the co-pilot seat of a helicopter (sorry, I can't remember what kind...but it had a distinctly Vietnam sort of feel as we flew low over the trees of northern Virginia), and paint my face with camo-green grease paint. After a night of war games in the woods of Virginia, we came back to the barracks and picked the ticks off. There were hundreds. Yes, hundreds.

2. Flew upside-down in a T-2 in Pensacola, Florida. Decided I didn't want to fly for a living.

3. Sailed on a 98-foot yacht from Annapolis, Maryland, to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and visited several ports of call, including New York City. While underway, in heavy seas, with 95% of the crew seasick, we had a fire at sea.

4. Sang back-up for Donna Summer (with the U.S. Naval Academy Women's Glee Club) at Pres. Reagan's 1985 Inaugaration Gala. Backstage, Lou Rawls told us, "Ya'll sounded real good;" Crystal Gale told us we looked "pretty" in our formal dinner dress uniforms; and Dean Martin winked at me. (Okay, I admit he winked at a lot of young ladies that evening). Oh, and Frank Sinatra sang with a glass of scotch in his hand and Tom Selleck was holding hands with his lady friend while all of us gals were desperately trying to catch his eye.

5. Shook President Ronald Reagan's hand when I received my Baccalaureate degree, May 1985.

6. I met Diego Maradona when I lived in Naples, Italy.

7. I have been mistaken for a prostitute. (In Naples, Italy).

8. Although I've never been arrested, I did have a police officer shine a flashlight in my face once and say, "You look familiar. Have you ever been arrested?"

9. My dh and I appeared on the Maury Povich show. (When Philosopher-Mom was deemed too smart, she gave them my name, I was phone-interviewed and deemed ditsy enough for the show). The topic of the show was, "Childfree by Choice," and we were the freaks with FIVE children! (Addendum: Also on the show was, Ben Wattenberg, who displayed great class in congratulating us on our five kids and he inscribed a copy of his book, The Birth Dearth, to us: "To Debbie and Joe...who are doing their part...with high regard, Ben Wattenberg, NY/NY 11/93.")

10. I once considered changing my name to "Aurora Borealis." *

Things I have eaten:

1. rattlesnake

2. Rocky Mountain oysters

3. alligator

4. frog legs

5. horse

Jobs I have actually had:

1. Youth Conservation Corps youth worker--2 summers

2. midshipman

3. 45 caliber pistol instructor

4. communications watch officer

5. telephone officer (liason with the Italian telephone company)

6. celebration of the bicentennial of the US Constitution coordinator

7. security officer

8. crisis pregnancy volunteer

9. Girl Scout leader

10. homeschool mom

* O.K. Not really. That one was supposed to be a joke. But I do think it's a pretty cool name.

National Novel Writing Month

I've taken the plunge and signed up for National Novel Writing Month. You should too!

I'm doing so after the good example of my friend, Anna Scott Graham, who welcomed my family upon our arrival in northern England in June 2000, with a batch of freshly picked strawberries. Now that's neighborly!

The idea is to force yourself to write. Just write and write and write. And maybe, just maybe, out of that glob of 50,000 (or more) words, you'll have something worth reading. Or maybe not. But it sounds like a great way to get the creative juices flowing. And since I've talked about writing a book for years and years and years, but never done something about it, I thought this sounded like a great excuse.

And, particulary noteworthy for homeschoolers, there is a great site for young writer's so they can participate as well.

I've convinced my dh and several of my kinders to take the plunge with me. I'll keep you posted on how we do!

Today is the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi

...and dh and I, along with 6 of our offspring, went to the Catholic Mass for the homeschoolers of Northern Colorado, celebrated by our new auxiliary bishop, Bishop James Conley. Since St. Francis of Assisi is the patron of Colorado (he was named thus about 10 years ago), we were able to celebrate this optional memorial as a feast.

Cool. Feast. The name implies a big party, with lots of food. Well, it was rather like a party. Seeing lots of folks you only see once a year at the homeschool conference. Seeing old friends. And lots and lots of newbies. As for food...well, at least we had the Bread of Life, cause we ran out of food at the reception pretty darned quickly. After standing in line to meet Bishop Conley, and receive his blessing, we went into the reception hall and lo and behold, there wasn't much food left. Lots of hungry little ones and it was nearly noon. Fortunately, I had baked a loaf of zucchini bread this morning and I still had it in the car. So much for the miracle of the loaves and the fishes...it was gone almost as soon as I cut it!

But...there was a really cool relic of St. Francis of Assisi. For non-Catholics, that means we had an actual piece of his bone. It is housed in a reliquary, a little stand with a glass window in it. We had the chance to venerate his relic. (In actuality, dh and I said some silent prayers to ask the good saint to watch over our wild animals, I mean children.)

Which is super cool, because he's a favorite saint of mine. And not because of the bird bath thing, but because he was so radical. He gave himself so totally to God that when his bishop told him to give his wealthy father back the money he took, which Francis had planned to use to rebuild a dilapidated church, Francis gave his father all the money back. Not only that, but he stripped naked in the public square in front of a crowd of people, including the bishop and his father. He gave his earthly father everything he had...even the clothes off his back, and went naked into the wilderness to meet God.

I don't advocate walking into the woods naked, because you'll either get poison ivy, frostbite, or arrested.

But St. Francis was such a cool dude because he had so much wealth, status and friendships, but he gave them all up to follow God. He was a real radical.

At the same time, he was perfectly obedient. When the bishop said "give the money back," he did...even though God told him to rebuild the church. He never set out to start an order, or reform the Church, or change the world. He just gave himself completely to God and God took care of the rest.

Now that's a real radical.