I’m a bit nervous about my upcoming pre-natal visit at the women’s health clinic. I know I shouldn’t be. My chance of having a baby with any abnormalities is very low. I’m optimistic because even though I’ve terminated pregnancies in the past, I believe the time is right for Sandy and me. We’re now ready to be parents. And because we secured one of the first maternity licenses in the newly expanded health care reform bill, this must be a sign from Mother Earth that all the stars have aligned properly for this great event. Even my horoscope this morning predicted everything would be positive for me!
So why am I nervous? Maybe it’s because I’ve heard stories about the crazy anti-choice protesters who walk like zombies around the clinic day after day. I REALLY don’t want to have to talk to any of them. They totally creep me out with their constant chants and prayers and strange rituals. At least the government is on our side. The new limits on extreme speech have curtailed the numbers of kooks there at any given time. I’m so glad we have a government that’s on the side of women’s health!
Okay, maybe the real reason I’m nervous is because I keep thinking about my friend Marie, who was pregnant a few months ago. She went in to the clinic for her first pre-natal visit and they did some sort of blood tests on her and told her that her baby would be deformed and that she’d better terminate the pregnancy soon. I still don’t know exactly what sort of tests they’re doing now, but I’ve read that they’re super accurate and we’ve really come a long way in being able to diagnose abnormalities before the pregnancy starts making a real baby.
I know my tests will be all be normal because I really want this baby and I know she (or maybe he?) is already a baby. After all, that’s what I learned in my ethics class in college. If a woman wants to be pregnant, then she is. If she decides it’s not a baby, then it’s not. All my other pregnancies were at awkward times in my life…first it was trying to finish high school, then once (or was it twice?) in college…then there was the summer internship (oh, the fond memories!)…and the WRONG guy (ugh!) But now I know the time is right. Sherry will be a great provider (she’s got a super fantastic job as a medical records analyst working for the government) and she says she’s ready to be a parent. So…this baby is going to be great for us. I’ve already got the day care center picked out!
I’m just so thankful we have a government who actually cares about women’s health and the health of our families! I shudder to think of what could’ve happened if President Obama had been defeated when he ran for his second term. Thank goodness those radical Catholic hospitals and colleges were forced out of business! All they cared about was pushing their radical “no birth control and no abortion” agenda on the rest of us. Can you imagine what would’ve happened to women’s health if they had prevailed? No free contraception. No free sterilizations. No free abortions. No free sperm clinics. We’d probably be running out of food right now. Instead, the government has assured us that we have at least another ten years or so of food stores in the federal warehouses. But since the new parent licensing act has been so successful in preventing overpopulation, we have plenty of food ration cards to go around.
It’s also a really good thing that the preventive services act has expanded to include preventing abnormalities in children and preventing Alzheimer’s and other gross diseases in old people. Just think of all those old folks homes that would be full of elderly if the government hadn’t stepped in to prevent such tragedies.
To think it was only a few decades ago that people were allowed to have four, five or six children! If it weren’t for the old pictures, I wouldn’t have believed it. My friend, Marie, tells me her mom was one of ten. TEN??? That’s just so gross. I’ve heard there are still some large families in existence, but thanks to the new child tax, those overpopulating kooks will be taxed out of existence soon. Of course, if they want to continue violating the laws, they can pay their fines. That’s fine with me. (lol!) My future kid’s school can use the extra money!